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And in that moment the moment of the crash it made me realize that monsters don’t hide in the woods. They aren’t shadows in the trees or invisible things lurking in darkened corners. No, the real monsters move in plain sight. I was 12 years old when those shadows started to form a shape, a face started to become less of an apparition and more concrete, more real. When i began to realize that maybe the monsters lived among us – and there was one monster in particular – i learned to fear above all the rest may 2019 chapter one my throat tickles, it’s subtle at first, the tip of a feather being trailed along the inside of My esophagus top to bottom.

I push my tongue back into my throat and attempt to scratch. It doesn’t work, i hope i’m not getting sick. Have i been around a sick person? Lately, someone with a cold there’s no way to be sure. Really i’m around people all day, none of them looked sick, but the common cold can be contagious before ever showing any symptoms.

I try to scratch again, or maybe it’s allergies. Ragweed is higher than normal, severe. Actually, an 8 out of 10 on the allergy tracker, the little pinwheel on my weather, app with solid red i reach for my glass of water. Take a sip swish it around a bit before swallowing it still doesn’t work. I clear my throat yeah.

I look up at the patient before me stiff as a wooden plank strapped to my oversized leather recliner. Her fingers are clenched in her lap, thin shiny, slits, barely visible against the otherwise perfect skin of her hands. I noticed a bracelet on her wrist, an attempt to cover the nastiest scar, a deep jagged purple wooden beads with a silver charm in the shape of a cross dangling like a rosary. I look back at the girl taking in her expression, her eyes no tears, but it’s still early, i’m sorry, i say glancing down at the notes before me. Lacey.

I just have a little tickle in my throat. Please continue. Oh, she says okay! Well, anyway, like i was saying i just get so mad, sometimes you know, and i really don’t know why it’s like this anger, just builds and builds, and then before i know it, i need to. She looks down at her arms fans her hands.

There are tiny cuts everywhere, like hairs of glass hidden in the webby dips of skin between her fingers. It’S the release. She says it helps me calm down. I’M nod trying to ignore the itch in my throat. It’S getting worse.

Maybe it’s dust. I tell myself. It is dusty in here i glance over to the windowsill, the bookshelf, the diplomas framed on my wall, all of them sporting, a fine layer of gray glinting in the sunlight focus chloe. I turn back toward the girl and why do you think that is lacey? I just told you, i don’t know if you had to speculate, she sighs glances to the side and stares intently at nothing in particular she’s, avoiding eye contact.

The tears are coming shortly. I mean it probably has something to do with my dad. She says her lower lip trembling slightly. She pushes her blonde hair back from her forehead with him, leaving and everything. When did your dad leave two years ago, she says as if on cue, a single tear erupts from her tear, duct and glides down her freckled cheek.

She wipes it angrily, he didn’t even say goodbye. He didn’t even give us a [, __ ] reason why he just left my nod. Scribbling more notes. Do you think it’s fair to say that you’re still pretty angry with your dad over him, leaving you like that? Her lip trembles again and since he didn’t say goodbye, you weren’t able to tell him how his actions made.

You feel she nods at the bookshelf in the corner, still avoiding me yeah. She says i guess, that’s fair. Are you angry with anyone else? My mom? I guess i don’t really know why i always figured that she drove him away.

Okay, i say anybody else.

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