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One step too far by lisa gardner performed by hilary huber. The town of ramsay wyoming looks like an old west movie set transported to the dusty foothills of very real mountains. The picturesque main street is lined on both sides by wooden storefronts, whose jutting roof lines appear. Like puzzle pieces against the deep blue sky, i spot a yellow painted general store, nestled, shoulder to shoulder with a deep, green, five and dime, and a faded red saloon, coffee shop, feed store, touristy, t-shirt depot leather goods and, of course, a storefront advertising. All things cowboy on a bright sunny august afternoon, the sidewalks are jammed with people some clearly tourists, families and shorts and flip-flops, some probably locals, given their denim and cowboy boots, mostly all white, many strolling hand in hand, smiling and carefree.

In my line of work, it’s been a long time since i’ve been surrounded by a sea of caucasians. It’S interesting to me, then, that i feel as self-conscious here as i do in a haitian community in boston or a predominantly black housing project in memphis. These people, with their shiny lives and fashion forward clothes and fomo vacations – i don’t know how to identify with them. I wonder sometimes, if there’s any place that would feel like home to me. I started out playing the outsider.

Now, i simply am one i drum my empty water bottle against my leg. Restlessly make sure you drink plenty of fluids, rule comments. Summers are arid with afternoons prone to scattered thunderstorms, don’t know what you got in that bag, but you’re gon na want layers. Temperatures can swing 50 degrees in a day and nights are damn cold even this time of year, i nod i travel light, meaning my roll along suitcase contains just the basics, three pairs of pants and six shirts, all interchangeable for shoes. I have a pair of sneaks and a pair of sturdy brown boots.

I also have pjs really men’s boxers and paul’s old t-shirt plus seven days worth of socks and underwear. My boots will work for hiking. The socks are definitely too thin and i have only one coat: a medium weight: green army jacket. In the winter months i had a hat gloves and scarf for warmth. I hadn’t thought to make those purchases.

Yet, given that it’s august, i should stay here. I think to work and build up money if nothing else, but maybe also i’m tired, that kind of exhaustion that never really goes away. I think of paul, as i often do, when the weight of the years catches up with me, but i also think of a boston, detective and former marine dan lotham, the whisper of his hands across my body. I think of a silent bar owner as steady as his name stoney and piper the homicidal cat and an energetic fry cook, and a 16 year old haitian girl angelique, the first and only person i’ve ever found alive my thoughts, scatter and spin. I feel both keyed up and totally spent, and, as is my nature, i think how much i’d like a drink right now.

Maybe an ice-cold beer to quench my dry throat or a tangy margarita, where the liquid warmth of tequila is followed by the refreshing bite of lime, a rum and coke, a gin and tonic. I was never picky about my booze. I just wanted lots of it till my nerves, dulled and my racing brain pickled, and i didn’t have to think so hard because i no longer cared as fast as i feel the impulse i push it away. My sobriety is one of my only accomplishments over the past 10 years. I can’t afford to give it up now, one step too far by lisa gardner performed by hilary huber.

The town of ramsey wyoming looks like an old west movie set transported to the dusty foothills of very real mountains. The picturesque main street is lined on both sides by wooden storefronts, whose jutting roof lines appear like puzzle pieces against the deep blue sky. I spot a yellow painted general store, nestled, shoulder to shoulder with a deep, green, five and dime and a faded red saloon, coffee shop, feed store, touristy, t-shirt depot leather goods and, of course, a storefront advertising. All things cowboy on a bright sunny august afternoon. The sidewalks are jammed with people

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